Party at Home Club

Last night was fun. I kind of told myself I didn't really want to go to anymore of the parties for exchange students, but it was cheap, and the guy was selling the tickets at Raffles City, so there was no reason not to.

Liz came over for dinner (late as usual), and then I got a call from Thomas who is this Finn I met through a random add on facebook (his profile pic showed of a nice body... six pack, nice arms, yeah) asking if he could come over for a shower, because the shower at his gym in Cairnhill was out of service. This is quite a bit more random then it seems. I had only met him once before at Zouk, and he was there with some chick, and I had just come by from a somewhat frustrating, threesome with a Norwegian guy I sure as hell wasn't supposed to fuck. He was a weird one, anyway that was weeks and weeks back.

So Thomas calling me was pretty damn random, but anyway I was glad to have him over and I made them all tequila shots and the I got dressed and we went to Home Club. Everyone there was pretty young, the oldest kids were my age, the rest were younger. They kind of behaved really young too. But I love boys and some of them were really cute. There was this blonde Dane that was totally adorable! Like oh my god. With pink cheeks. Haha!

Sven was there (oh man). I swear to god, I still have this thing for him, but yeah he doesn't really like me and he's so young and German (I never understand Germans, unless they're from Bavaria). Anyway I got up this morning (finding a huge bruise on my knee, broken glass on the floor, and thinking, "Shit. I slapped Sven". I certainly remember hitting someone. I texted him and apparently I did hit him, but... whatever. He didn't take it personally. I find it quite funny actually, but what else is a spoilt little girl supposed to do in a situation like this? Haha, it was the second time I hit a guy I reckon, the first time was in Budapest when Barna and I stopped seeing each other for 10 days (because he made me angry) and he turned up at a random flat party, and I administed a roundhouse kick onto his hip. My friend had to break up the fight, but I wasn't really angry and I think he knew it. It was just my strange way of having fun.

Notes on the Personal User Manual.

From my other site: Babelogic.net which has other stuff.

There are a few sites I visit regularly for pure entertainment value. Apart from Facebook, which is kind of lame because no one except me ever posts really cool stuff on a regular basis, okCupid is another one. It’s got a good algorithm that matches people really well on the cerebral interests front, and it has got fun tests that you can learn absolutely random facts from, like which planet rotates clockwise (Venus). Sometimes you also come across really funny profiles. I have copied and pasted the profile of some random cute nerd that had decided to put his selling points and his warning signs all into one funny “User Manual”. I think it’s a good idea because it makes really mundane and tedious things light-hearted and fun. If he had put it in another way, it would have just made for a rather obnoxious profile (IMHO).

Also, it is interesting to me because I have been reading quite a lot of experimental fiction lately, and different ways to string a narrative is an obsession. Of course this is someone’s dating profile, so it is not art, but it is a good idea. The other 2 instances of experimental narrative I have been thinking about are the description of someone’s personal space over a length of time (which has been used before, but the only one I know of is a poem), and the index of someone’s biography (from Ballard’s Drowned World). I should start thinking harder and keep a collection of different types of ways to tell a story, it could make for an awesome novella. (I have pretty much decided that I don’t ever wish to write a full-length work of fiction because I lack verbosity -blogging is easy! Try writing 60 000 words, which is the lower limit of the average length of a novel… And I also lack sufficient working memory capacity).

Anyway, the pasted profile (he apparently also rides horses for a hobby, which I find quite charming.):

USER MANUAL read carefully!

Thank you for choosing this model of person. This version includes the advanced feature of Working Module (WM), which guarantees that this person is willing to work and make money for his future family, he enjoys both physical and cerebral works. Note that this person cannot be exposed to extreme emotions, the Empathy Training Module (ETM) is not included. Exposing to high level of emotions may cause malfunctions and stop the valuable feature, thinking algorithm. We are proud to introduce the new and improved Shopping Module, which is capable of spending money in book store, further tests required, but the recent tests show that this person cannot be used for shopping in clothing related stores. Version includes Entertainment Function, which works regularly on better days, also includes optimistic parameters. If the person looks frozen, wave your hands in front of his eyes, to catch his attention, most possibly he is only thinking. If he smiles during this time, that means he found out how to rule the world or maybe he is daydreaming about something. This person includes wide knowledge of random facts and high performance ability of learning. Also runs a well working tennis module.

1. The person can NOT read others’s minds. He won’t find out what is your problem. Voice or written conversation are required to send him a problem, and he will attempt to solve it.

2. The person can NOT reincarnate. Don’t kill him.

3. The person can NOT dance. This feature can be added to his repertoire by teaching him.

4. The person can NOT be fed by fast foods, raw meats, and most snacks.

5. The person requires loyalty, and gives loyalty.

6. The person can NOT watch Hollywood-made romantic movies.

7. The person needs at least 6 hours of sleeping each day.

8. The person won’t go to parties each weekend.

violating these points there is a risk of losing the long life warranty.

Mannerism and the Sex Drive of the Mistress.

From now on, I will be posting links to all my new blog posts here.

My new blog is found at www.babelogic.net

Less sex, more art and admittedly a lot of sex and art.

Mannerism and the Sex Drive of the Mistress.

Finnish Men

Finnish Men

Finnish men are a taciturn lot. It's true, they are really fluent at keeping silent in two language. It used to be Finnish and Swedish, now it's Finnish and English. An outgoing Finnish man would be considered introverted anywhere else in the world. I have met talkative Finns, it's when they've had several cases of beer and I have gotten used to the general lack of conversation. Finns believe that silence is golden, and they will inform you of how much you talk when you talk too much. They love their personal space and are good at all sport that does not require other people to play with and is life endangering (with the exception of ice-hockey), these are such things as Formula 1 racing, Cross- country skiing, marathon running in the middle of winter, Motorcross racing etc. They take everything seriously, even when really drunk, they seldom will say or do something they do not mean. When they get to that point, it is the point of passing out. When you ask them a question, they will think about it for a long time before answering (sometimes as long as 20 minutes in a running conversation) and the answer will be very detailed and accurate -try asking for directions in Finland, you'll see what I mean- or they will simply refuse to answer because they don't have the time to think of the right one.

Finns do not believe there is such a thing as an uncomfortable silence. It is a good thing to learn. It is better to have someone with nothing better to say to shut up and to babble on.

Potential Boyfriend names:

Ari
Aalto
Herkko
Janne
Jukka
Karri
Lasse
Lauri
Pekka
Eetu

Notice anything? They are all 2 syllables, usually with a repetition of one letter. I was joking with a Finnish friend that all the male names sound kind of the same... he smacked me on the head and pointed out that I was always getting the name of the fortress island (Suomilinna) with the name of this special shot (Salmari). Anyway, Finnish is an impossibly difficult language to learn but with very straight forward pronunciation. The syllables sound the way they look.

Four insights into Finnish Culture

Finnish Dogs

They are rather furry, generally well behaved, and do not bark. TBH, I didn't see that many around.

Finnish Driving

Finland has some of the best Formula One drivers in the world. Finnish men know how to drive, they all rode their first moped when they turned 8, and I have heard stories of little boys being made to drive little go carts or motorcycles on a track even when they have barely learnt to walk. If your riding with a Finn, you can trust your life with him. I was half asleep on Jukka's motorbike (the upper half), and I'm still alive. In all Scandinavia, the fines are according to your income, after tax, so the richer you are, the more you are taxed. But it doesn't really matter because no one speeds anyway. They drive at the speed limit because it's the speed limit. The won't cross the road even if there are no cars going by because the light hasn't turned green. Simple.

Finnish Theft

HUH? You don't even have to be afraid of the homeless drug addict lurking around in the park (unless it's the rapist park... apparently one of them in Helsinki has been dubbed exactly that). In Finland, and actually the rest of Scandinavia, everyone believes in making their own way in life, through honest means. It's so pervasive you start worrying if you are being as equal and honest with them as they are with you. Anyway theft is not necessary, the government is rich enough to take care of everyone, and anyway, Finland is not a materialistic society. Everyone is either comfortable or moderately rich.

How to meet Him.

Good luck! I mean it. Finland, like most rich, atheistic, Western societies has a population with a high rate of casual partners, and you can guess how that happens despite the guys seemingly painful shyness for most of the week, with the exception of Fridays and Saturdays. All men are easy when they are drunk enough not to be self-conscious, and the Finns will drink till they are boderline comatose so they can approach a girl (I met two guys on the boat from Stockholm to Helsinki who told this to me as a reason why Finnish males drink so damn much). But don't worry, he'll buy his own drinks, you just have to wait till 4 a.m. before advancing.

There is also the slow and steady way. Finns really appreciate friendships that will last, and if you have the time, you should take your time to get to know some Finnish guys over an extended period. Just ask them out here and there for a case of beer, or two, and sooner rather than later, you'll get what you want. But you have to look very closely for the signs that show he is interested, because it's subtle. Really fucking subtle. And you will have to make the first move. Don't expect a Finnish guy to call you or ask you out, he won't, even if he really wants to. With the exception of the times when he is drunk, it is 4 in the morning, and you're asleep.

Tips for the date

All Scandinavia is an equal society and everyone pays their own way. The men will buy a drink or two for the girls, but at a dinner, everyone pays their fair share. The women wouldn't have it any other way.

Finns are punctual, a 2 minute delay to them is late, but they are also very patient and well-tempered. And unlike Germany (with the exception of Bavaria, as I have realized) some rules can be broken if it makes everyone happier, or if it makes sense. He will tell you to hurry up, and you should, but nobody will get angry as long as you inform in advance.

A Finn will not hit on you, even when he is really drunk, and even then he might not do so. So if at the end of the date, you would want something more, you have to make it obvious. You know how all French men assume you would sleep with them if you go out on a date? Finns are the exact opposite. The only time he will hit on you is when you are in his bedroom. And even then.

If however you do not make it to that stage, he will give you a detailed description of the most optimal route you should take to get home, along with details of the length of time you will take to walk it. On weekends, this would be a description of the night bus, and he will find out the time table for you on his blackberry.

What you should know about Finland

Finns love their country and they know a lot of contemporary details about it (especially concerning Formula One racing), but not a great deal of historical stuff. The first thing I learnt about Finland after Nokia was what a fantastic guy Kimi Räikkönen was, this was accompanied by You Tube videos of the guy falling off the roof of his yacht drunk on champagne. The second thing is that the landscape is all lakes and that it is the country that is the world's top supplier of ice-breakers.

In all of Scandinavia, the sale of alcohol is controlled by the state and you can only purchase hard liquor outside bars at the Alko store, but beer and long drinks (a Finnish invention) are sold at supermarkets. No alcohol is sold after nine, and the Alko is closed on weekends.

Impressing his mother

Finnish moms are cool. They ride motorbikes, cook good food and drink beer. It's an egalitarian society, an on top of that, most Scandinavians don't understand racism. People are people whatever the age, or colour, and you'll be treated like a friend and offered lots of beer.

Finnish girl competition

You're more likely to make friends with one than compete. All the girls will end up hanging around together complaining about how the men never talk, and how to get them to talk. Most likely, all the chicks will gang up to try and get the guys drunk faster. The girls are all feminized (Finland after all has the 2nd female president after New Zealand) and there is a genuine feeling of 'Hey sister' vibe when you hang out.

When you want him to go away.

Finns are practical, and they know it when something is not right. You don't have to do anything, in fact nothing needs to be said. The right solution will happen. Finns think everyone else is talking too much about how they feel and they feel this is unnecessary. Why say something or ask questions to something that is already apparent? In Finland, many things happen without a lot of words being said.

FUEL Party!

Come and play! We'll be partying till dawn!
Darren Emerson and Samantha Ronson at the F1 pit stop!

Xoxo

Where is Isabella?

In case you're looking for me, I'm now blogging at www.babelogic.net.

Yep, many things have changed. I lived with Mark for slightly over 2 years, discovered intellectual joys, traveled all over Asia-Pac, lived and backpacked in Europe (I even roughed it through the mountains in Transylvania!) Been on the West-coast a couple of times for this one particular conference (SIGGRAPH, if you're into computer graphics), pushed the limits of my reality and got further in my understanding of my own consciousness through reading and a variety of experiments.

My past exploits all seem so awfully trivial right now ;-) But still, no regrets. I wouldn't be where I was today without them.

xoxox

TV Whore

For the people not living in this weird claustrophobic SEAsian village, the local TV end of Media Crap Co. (which is NOT quite like the paper I write for, because although they are both owned by the same company, different people run the things. Which is about as close to a Free Press outside the internet we're as likely to come to for the next few months. Although nothing is fucking for sure anymore because the BBC was allowed to lambast the much to be desired Human Rights record we have at the moment concerning our Domestic help)

Anyway, the TV end have decided to make a talk show program where they get morally degenerate characters like myself to talk about stuff and then make us all sound and look truly like the devil's chambermaids. (You know, the little girls that clean out his royal pots. My God, what a fantasy, the little bucket girl getting fucked by the lord of evil.)

I must get this straight. That TV thing was a bomb, but I went anyway because it was just something I would do. Because I don’t give a fuck about how I look on TV (I feel pai seh of course lah! But all I have to do to not feel that is to not watch the show right. As long as people don’t recognize me on the streets, what the fuck do I care). It’s just like how I’d suck the cock of Sir Stamford Raffles the week before National Day and take of my pants in front of Buckingham Palace. It doesn’t matter, for God’s sake. It’s mad, to allow yourself to look like a whore on TV, but it’s so against everything this society is about I had to do it.

I’m sick with people telling me what’s the right move with this or that. If I listened to that nonsense, I wouldn’t have as much fun. If you haven’t already noticed, I don’t give a shit about the opinions of the general public. If they know why I’m doing what I do (and the reason is simple –I’m doing it because sex is just a thing we have to do as human beings, there’s no escaping it and there’s no need to be elitist about the fact that you’re having sex, or about the fact that you aren’t).

Just move on already. So I have sex with my boyfriend, and before that I had sex with about a dozen people, that’s normal. If you think we’re any better than animals, you can forget it. When it comes down to our biological behaviour, we’re no more bereft of self-control, and we are no more amenable or beatific. What differentiates us is our ability to create beyond any need for the satisfaction of biological instincts. The sooner we get over things that we can’t change, the sooner we can get to the things that bring true joy to the human spirit. If Michelangelo worried all damn day about how being gay wasn’t morally desirable, he wouldn’t have painted the Sistine Chapel in the dynamic glory (not to mention the sometime smug amusement) we now experience it with.

To the people that watched the show and thought the people that came up with the idea are a bunch of idiots, the sort that are no different from those that enjoy sodomy with little boys while basking in the manufactured holiness of the state/institution, amen to you.

As someone put it in an email to me, who are we kidding, do our men only lick postage stamps (and our girls only enjoy sex after they are wed? I don’t recall anyone telling me our genitals took on a different state of mind after a certificate is signed).

To the people that think I look like a whore, you should know that deep inside that’s what you are anyway. What kinda human being doesn’t like to fuck? Get over it already.(not including the people that have emailed me out of good intentions. I don't agree with your views on public opinion, but I know you mean no insult. And I actually knew I would look like a whore when I did the thing anyway)

xoxox